Hurt.

You think you're the only one hurting..? I, too, am hurting.
In fact, I'm more than hurting...I'm bleeding.

I may sound unfair to you, but you're the one who started it all--from the lying to the banging of the door. You may not know this, and I don't have any plans of telling you, but I cried that night.

Yes, I cried. I cried because I was hurt, and I cried because I was more than hurt.

When I came from school that night, I was just joking when I acted I was mad at you. I guess you already know that, because I even smiled at Gigi, one of our boardmates, before I went upstairs to go to my room.

When I went inside my room, I immediately hang the headset in my ears. I couldn't hear a thing...just the sound of the music that I was listening to. I know that you know me as the kind of person who loves music sooo much that I could listen to the same song even the whole day.

That night, later did I know from my cousin, who's also my room mate, that you looked for me. So, I made a way to talk to you. I went outside my room and approached you. You were watching T.V. that time. I said my sorry and even made lambing to you. Suddenly, It surprised me when you got mad. You immediately stood up and I acted as if you were done watching. So, I held your arm to stop you from walking away, but itinabig mo naman yung kamay ko.

Doon pa lang, I was already hurt. But I continued to make amends with you and to make it up to you. You continued to walk away. When we reached your room, I was about to enter, but you banged the door. I was about to cry, but I saw Gigi. She was studying, and so I sat there for a while and I acted as if I wasn't affected.

Later, my cousin and groggy Onin came. The three talked, so I decided to get out of the scene. I immediately went inside my room, put on my eye-cover, and silently cried.

After that, I realized something. That was not the first time that I cried for a friend, but I always see to it that a friend is worth the tears before I spill some for him or HER.

These past two days has been a very difficult for me. I am not the usual me. I feel sooo incomplete. I mean, I dunno how to explain this.

the situation now is different. Now, you're the one making the move, but I don't know why I still can't accept what happened. Maybe, this is because I'm being childish. I don't know. Or, maybe, it's because what happened is still fresh in my heart and my memory.

But, I admit that you're one of the few persons who cared to break the fence which I placed around me.

It has only been four months that we know each other, but I feel like we've known each other for a lifetime. We became so close that I don't know why whenever I'm with you, I'm being so talkative...super talkative. Just one look at each others eyes, and we already know what each other is thinking. We laugh at the top of our lungs over something that others would not find it so funny. With just a smile, we already understand how each other feels.

I'm a busy (Kunohay) type of a person; thus, I don't usually stay at the boarding house. Before, I just stay there to take a bath and sleep. When I wake up, I immediately eat and take a bath, and go to school. I don't even know some of my boardmates. I was not close to them because I was like a shadow that immediately disappears after the sun-down.

There you came and changed my usual life. You turned my once quiet life into a jungle where wild creatures reside. You changed me. You made me laugh over simple things. You made me smile.

Before, I don't know how to take things easy. Now, I know how to smile and laugh without worrying about anything at all. No matter how problematic I am, you're always making me feel light.

Though we're not in good terms right now, I still am thankful that we met. I'm glad that our roads crossed. I'm glad having catch a BIG fish in such a big ocean. And I'm happy that among the many fishes in the ocean, it was you whom I caught.

I love you, and I'm still your Mommy Nhadz, no matter what.