I admit that I made a mistake once, but don't I deserve a second chance?
What could be more hurtful than having parents who do not trust you? I mean, perhaps, they trust you in this and that but when you're already away from them, they keep on monitoring you. You have to tell them what's happening in your life every minute, every second. Even the smallest detail of your life, they must know. To some, this may sound sweet. To me, it's bugging. I'm choked, man! I feel so monitored. I feel so untrusted.
It's really painful to know the fact that though they have already forgiven me, they still don't trust me. Maybe, it's also my fault. I submitted into a lot of temptations before. I made stupid things that made their trust vanish. I mean, I can not really explain every detail of that stupid mistake I made. Let's just put it this way...I was a certified alcohol drinker, a smoker...before.
Behind my respectable and nice image in the present (aws..?) is a really dark past. It is real dark that I don't even wanna go back there, and I don't even wanna remember it.
I know I committed a mistake, but i think I deserve a second chance naman di ba? I feel bad whenever I think about it...whenever my parents would check on me. I feel bad whenever my mother would ask me if I've been drinking...if I've been smoking while I was away. I feel bad...in all those.
Because of the monitoring, I sometimes think, what if I drink and smoke real hard again? I mean, I don't wanna do it just for the sake of annoying or making my parents mad. Can you imagine how difficult it is to see a bottle of liquour, nor to see a person smoking? It's damn hard...really really hard. (It must be really stupid to hear this, but what can I do if this is what I feel.)
Sometimes, I see alcoholic drinks and I'm really tempted to try it again. But, I also ask myself, "Can I really handle it this time?", because if I can't, huwag na lang.
Sometimes, I'm also wishing....How I wish that I never committed the mistake before. How I wish that I never submitted to temptations. But then, what can I do? I can not turn back time and undone the wrong things that I've done.
But though I can't undone those things, I just hope that I can make my parents trust me again.
It's really painful to know the fact that though they have already forgiven me, they still don't trust me. Maybe, it's also my fault. I submitted into a lot of temptations before. I made stupid things that made their trust vanish. I mean, I can not really explain every detail of that stupid mistake I made. Let's just put it this way...I was a certified alcohol drinker, a smoker...before.
Behind my respectable and nice image in the present (aws..?) is a really dark past. It is real dark that I don't even wanna go back there, and I don't even wanna remember it.
I know I committed a mistake, but i think I deserve a second chance naman di ba? I feel bad whenever I think about it...whenever my parents would check on me. I feel bad whenever my mother would ask me if I've been drinking...if I've been smoking while I was away. I feel bad...in all those.
Because of the monitoring, I sometimes think, what if I drink and smoke real hard again? I mean, I don't wanna do it just for the sake of annoying or making my parents mad. Can you imagine how difficult it is to see a bottle of liquour, nor to see a person smoking? It's damn hard...really really hard. (It must be really stupid to hear this, but what can I do if this is what I feel.)
Sometimes, I see alcoholic drinks and I'm really tempted to try it again. But, I also ask myself, "Can I really handle it this time?", because if I can't, huwag na lang.
Sometimes, I'm also wishing....How I wish that I never committed the mistake before. How I wish that I never submitted to temptations. But then, what can I do? I can not turn back time and undone the wrong things that I've done.
But though I can't undone those things, I just hope that I can make my parents trust me again.
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